Summer Days
by MysticMeg
Summary: Kim's friend Christy turns up in the ER, Legaspi returns to Chicago. Much angst ensues.
1. Default Chapter

Summer Days  
  
By MysticMeg  
  
Timeline: Post series 8, in the summer of 2002  
  
Chapter 1  
  
It was a hundred degrees outside, but in the ER, things were unusually cool and quiet.  
  
Jing-Mei sat in a corner, busy with charts. She had finally swallowed her pride, and was working her way up to chief resident again. Susan stood by the desk, chatting with Abby and the other nurses. Kerry stood by the boards, checking for the umpteenth time that no patient was left unattended. Nope - the only real case she'd given to Gallant, one of their new residents.  
  
Dr Weaver sighed, and went over to join the others. Just as the gossip got interesting, the radio announced an incoming ambulance. Kerry sprang into action;  
  
"Prep Trauma one! Susan, Haleh, you're with me."  
"Yeah, yeah, we know the drill," muttered Haleh, beckoning Abby in with her.  
  
Kerry went out to meet the rig, smiling widely as a familiar face appeared. The attractive lieutenant stepped out and greeted Weaver with more than friendly warmth;  
  
"Hey babe!"  
"Can't keep away from me, can you!"  
"What! I'm due for lunch, thought I'd hitch a ride."  
  
They grinned, as did Abby, who'd followed her boss out.  
"What have you brought us, Sandy?"  
  
The women got back to business. As they wheeled the victim in, Sandy gave them the bullet;  
  
"Female, late thirties, head on collision on the freeway." Kerry grimaced as she went on. This could be a tough one. Sandy soon left them to it, saying,  
  
"I'll be out here when you're done."  
  
As they lifted the patient onto the table, her eyes fluttered open.  
  
"Kerry - Kerry Weaver?" she mumbled, squinting at the hazy figure looming above her.  
  
"Do you know her?" asked Susan.  
"Oh my god," gasped Kerry, "It's Christy! She was...is a friend of Doctor Legaspi's."  
  
The nurses exchanged a glance over the table.  
  
"We'll do everything we can, Kerry," soothed Susan, seeing Weaver's evident agitation.  
"Damn right we will!"  
  
And they did. After nearly an hour's desperate effort, Christy was stable enough to go up to the OR.  
  
"Get Romano," barked Dr Weaver, getting into the elevator, "I don't care where he is."  
  
As they lurched upwards, Christy stirred, and struggled to focus on the other woman.  
  
"Call her, Kerry," she whispered.  
"Who?" her heart sank.  
"Kim! She has to know. If I don't make it..."  
"Ssh, it's OK. We'll find her, I promise."  
  
Weaver went back downstairs, her thoughts in a whirl. Sandy was waiting for her, and could see something was up.  
  
"What's wrong? Did you lose her?"  
"No, she's in good hands."  
Kerry didn't look too thrilled.  
"Then what is it?"   
Sandy moved closer, placing a comforting arm around her lover's shoulders.  
"Nothing really." She sighed, "She reminded me of someone I've been trying to forget."  
"Oh?"  
Sandy had a fair idea who this 'someone' could be.  
"I'll tell you later, hun."  
"Make sure you do." Sandy moved to pick up her stuff. "I have to get back. Seeya tonight"  
  
Kerry didn't relish the task ahead of her. Marshalling her thoughts, she went into the lounge and picked up the phone.  
  
"Hello, Anspaugh."  
"Hi, Don. It's Kerry Weaver."  
"What can I do for you, Kerry?"  
"Kind of a big favour, actually."  
"I'm intrigued. Do go on."  
"Well - someone was brought in today...Not just someone - it was Christy, Doctor..." she struggled to say the name, "Kim's best friend. "  
"I see. And you want me to - ?"  
"She asked for Kim. She wants to see her. And - I can't call her, Don. I can't. We haven't spoken in over a year."  
She took a deep breath.  
"You do know where she is?"  
"Of course. Don't worry, Dr Weaver, I'll take care of it. What was the woman's name?"  
"Christy. Christy Thomas."  
"OK. Leave it to me."  
"Thank you, Dr Anspaugh. You don't know how hard this is..."  
"I think I do. I was there, remember. Take it easy, Kerry."  
"You too."  
  
She put the phone down and sat there, absolutely still. Only two hours had passed, and her day, her week, her life was turned upside down. Again. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
A day passed, then another. The following night, a Friday, Kerry was on the late shift. As things were relatively quiet downstairs, she went up to check on Christy, as she'd been doing a least once a shift since the woman came in. The ICU nurses had rarely seen Weaver so worried about a patient.   
  
On entering the small, darkened room, Kerry felt her breath catch in her throat. Even in the dim half-light, she could never mistake the figure sitting by the bed, back to the door. Her curly mane of her gave her away. Likewise, Kim stiffened, hearing the well-remembered halting step of her former friend.  
Steeling herself, Kerry stepped forward, moving to the charts at the end of the bed.  
  
"Dr Legaspi."  
"Dr Weaver."  
  
Kim did not turn around, answering with matching formality. Weaver hid her face, busying herself with the charts.  
  
"How is she?" asked Kim, her voice betraying nothing but concern for her friend.  
"Recovering well." Kerry still didn't look up. "Robert did a good job. But she's suffered a huge shock. Right now she just needs to rest."  
"She will wake up?"  
Kim revealed a sudden, surprising vulnerability, fear plainly evident in her voice.  
"Oh yes, any time now."  
The blonde sighed in relief.  
"Thank you, Kerry."  
"There's no need."  
She blushed slightly.  
"You took her in, didn't you?"  
"Yes."  
"Then I have every reason to thank you."  
  
For the first time, their eyes met. In the brief few seconds before Kim got up abruptly and began pacing the room, Kerry was shocked at the strain in her face. Legaspi looked, quite frankly, terrible. Her sudden recall to Chicago had clearly taken its toll.  
  
Kerry was genuinely concerned, but thought it best to remain safely on the far side of the bed.  
  
"When did you last eat - or sleep?"  
"God knows."  
"Honestly Kim," the other woman looked up briefly at the sound of her name, "Do you want to end up in here with her?"  
  
Kim made no answer, just returned to her chair, looking wearily down at Christy.  
  
"I'll get one of the nurses to bring you something. You really should get a room somewhere, though. I've been checking on her whenever I can, I'll call you if there's any change."  
"I don't want to bother you, Kerry," she responded, coolly.  
"It's no trouble."  
She looked up, but Kim was apparently fascinated by the worn hospital bed-sheets.  
"If it's OK, I'll stay here tonight."  
"Of course...You know where I am if you change your mind."  
  
Gingerly, Kerry stepped around her and out of the door. Her heart pounding, she limped off down the corridor, feeling Kim's eyes on her back.   
  
The psychiatrist was watching, and noticed that Weaver seemed different, somehow. Not physically, although she had returned to the messy, pixie haircut that Kim had loved when they first met. But there was definitely something. The way Kerry had spoken to her, with no trace of her former defensiveness. The way she looked now as she walked away - where was the brisk impatience Kim remembered, her air of always wanting to be somewhere else. And how she stopped to acknowledge the passing staff - kindly, almost indulgently. Was this the uncompromising hard-ass Kim had known?  
  
As she rode back in the elevator, Kerry's thoughts were on a similar theme. Kim had looked slightly older, but if possible, more beautiful than before. She was lean and sun-tanned, her hair longer and lighter. The California climate had clearly agreed with her. But she had been so cold, so unyielding - such a far cry from the teasing camaraderie of their short-lived romance. Not that Kerry blamed her. Over the past year, she had come to understand how deeply Kim had been hurt, how she had driven her away. Kerry hoped that knowledge had changed her, that the old Dr Weaver was no more. And she was pretty sure that change had been for the better.   
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -   
  
The following afternoon, Christy, or rather Kim, had another visitor. Don Anspaugh walked in and warmly greeted his old favourite. He sat down opposite her, clearly with something on his mind. After a few minutes small talk, he got to the point;  
  
"Have you seen Doctor Weaver?"  
"Yes." An awkward pause. "She looked well."  
"She is, now."   
  
Unlike many of the older staff, Anspaugh had been firmly on Weaver's side throughout her struggles with Romano. He had grown to respect Kerry for her fire, her determination to do what was right. And he wanted Kim to hear what had really happened before the scandal reached her.  
  
He continued;  
"After you left, we all thought she might not make it."  
"We?"  
Kim couldn't think who he was talking about.  
"Everyone knew, Kim. It was very hard for her. After what she said to Robert, he almost fired her."  
"What? Why?"  
She couldn't believe what she was hearing.  
"She told him."  
He paused dramatically, and at Kim's questioning look, nodded.   
"Rumour was she threatened quitting, legal action, everything. And when he wouldn't back down, she went AWOL for nearly a month. The ER was a shambles. They say he begged her to come back."  
"My god, I had no idea."  
Kim was astounded. When Kerry had said she'd fight for her, she never thought...  
"Well now you know."  
  
Don left her to her thoughts. After a while, Kim could stand it no longer, and decided she needed some air. Purely from habit (as she told herself), she headed out through the ER. But as she turned the corner from the elevators, Kim was stopped dead. She saw Kerry on her way out, her arm around another woman. The Chief looked back to say her goodbyes, with a parting shot directed at the nurses round the desk, and never had Kim seen her so at ease...so happy.  
  
Kim turned right back around, wishing herself anywhere but here, now - with her. 


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Dr Legaspi hurried up the stairs, wanting only to be out of the building as quickly as possible. She swept across the main lobby and out into the busy streets. She wandered aimlessly, her thoughts in turmoil. After a while she looked up, surprised at where her feet had carried her. With a weary sigh, she entered one of favourite old haunts. Kim draped herself at the corner of the bar, oddly comforted that nothing had changed in a year. Gladly, she accepted the drink brought to her and sipped at it slowly, lost to the world.   
  
She had no idea of how much time had passed when a friendly voice asked,  
  
"Penny for them?"  
  
The voice belonged to a complete stranger. But not an unattractive one - Kim's new neighbour was a slight brunette with warm brown eyes. Legaspi had been in this position enough times to know when someone was coming on to her. But the woman couldn't have picked a worse time.  
  
"Sorry?" replied Kim irritably.  
"You look like you could do with cheering up."  
  
Kim looked over at her scathingly, answering,  
  
"My best friend's in a coma."  
"God, I'm sorry!"  
  
The newcomer did seem genuinely embarrassed. Kim summoned up a small smile.  
  
"It's OK. You didn't know. I should be getting back to her."  
  
But she was not allowed to get away that easily. The other woman turned to face Kim as she stood up, asking,  
  
"Back to County General?"  
"Yes - why?"  
"I should be there right now - I'm a physio. But we're having a slow day, so I -"  
"Slacked off?"  
"Yep."  
  
Both smiled, the tension broken. Kim turned back to the bar,  
  
"I used to work there myself." She put out her hand. "Kim Legaspi, psychiatrist."  
"A shrink, eh. I'm Rose, Rose Carrol."  
  
Kim looked at her watch, unwilling to take this much further.  
  
"I really have to go. Nice meeting you, Rose. Even shrinks need cheering up sometimes."  
"I guess they do."   
Kim turned to go.  
"Maybe I'll see you round some time," called Rose hopefully. Kim was already gone.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
That Saturday night was the first since Christy's dramatic reappearance that Kerry and Sandy had some time to themselves.  
  
They shared a cosy dinner at home, laughing and teasing light-heartedly, until Kerry had almost forgotten the trials of the previous day. Almost - until her partner innocently asked;  
  
"So how's that woman I brought in?"  
Kerry stiffened, and Sandy recognised the all-too-familiar Weaver tactics of silence and withdrawal.  
"Who'd she remind you of, Ker? The psychiatrist?"  
From what she had learnt of Weaver's past, Kim was the only real possibility.  
Kerry frowned, looking down at her plate.  
"Yeah..." her eyes were dull, looking deep within, "But more of myself."  
"Huh?"  
"I'm not the same person I was a year ago."  
  
She looked up, a flicker of warmth lighting those sad eyes, and grasped Sandy's hands on the table.  
  
"And a big part of that is thanks to you." She paused, looking away again into the past.  
"You know what I did to her. It was unforgivable. Christy, the woman we took in...she was Kim's friend. Seeing her brought it all back."  
  
She looked up again, her voice breaking, her eyes filling with tears.  
  
"I hate that Kerry." she murmured, "I wanted to forget her."  
  
"Oh, honey,"   
Sandy felt her own eyes burning. It had been a long time since she'd seen Kerry so defenceless.  
"Don't be like this," she continued, clutching her lover's trembling hands. "It's over now. I love you just as you are."  
Weaver shook her head,  
"It's not over. She came back, today..." Kerry struggled to continue, "She wouldn't even look at me!"  
  
Sandy thought for a moment, wishing there was something she could do. One question came out of her mouth before she could stop it,  
  
"You really loved her, didn't you."  
"Yes."  
  
Sandy closed her eyes, tightening her grip on the older woman's hands. She couldn't help wishing Kim had stayed in San Francisco. But what was important was that she helped Kerry through this.  
  
"You know I'm here for you, don't you."  
"I know."  
  
Slowly, Weaver steadied herself, drawing strength from the other. By the end of dinner, she was almost human again.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -   
  
Lunchtime arrived on Monday and Kerry hadn't screwed up the courage to visit the ICU. She didn't know if Kim was even there. When the residents started giving her odd looks, she decided to take a break.  
  
Dr Legaspi had come to the same decision, after more than hour of her fruitless bedside vigil. Kim slipped into the canteen, hoping to avoid people's attention. But who was she kidding. The way she remembered this place, the whole staff probably knew she was back by now. One person certainly did. As soon as she had sat down, she was accosted by public enemy number one - Robert Romano. He strutted over to her, his voice just loud enough to be easily overheard.  
  
"If it isn't the good Doctor Legaspi! Delighted to see you again."  
She wouldn't even dignify that with an answer.  
"Mind if I sit down?"  
Not that he cared.  
Searching for a sufficiently insulting conversational opener, he came up with,  
"I take it you've met Dr Weaver?"  
"Yes."  
He leaned in confidentially, causing her to lean back almost out of her seat.  
"I'll tell you," he continued, "My life would have been infinitely easier if I'd fired her last summer."  
"Why didn't you?" she challenged.  
"Because," he paused, plastering a phoney smile over his trollish little face, "She'd have sued my ass right out of the door. Some of us want to keep our jobs."  
  
Warned, perhaps, by the fury blazing in her eyes, he changed his tack slightly.  
  
"So is this a flying visit, or are you planning to stay? I'm sure I could find you something to do."  
"I don't know. One of my friends was admitted last week -"  
"Ah, yes," he interrupted, "I remember her. So tell me, is she really just a 'friend', or - "  
"That's none of your business, Robert."  
  
He span around, suddenly uneasy,  
"Kerry! How do you do it. Always manage to spoil my fun."  
He wilted slightly under their combined glares.  
"OK, OK, I know when I'm not wanted."  
  
At last, he was leaving. Kim sighed and unclenched her fists, then looked up gratefully at her saviour.  
  
"Good timing, Kerry."  
Weaver stood there awkwardly, lunch in hand.  
"I guessed you needed rescuing."  
"You guessed right."   
"Mind if I sit?"  
"Please."  
Kim cringed inwardly at the hated formalities. 'Where are we, the 1950's'  
She made an effort to defrost things a bit.  
"At least someone hasn't changed."   
Kerry was taken aback, but managed not to show it in her face.  
"No, I don't think he ever will."  
"Kerry, I - "  
Weaver cut in. She really hadn't much time, and couldn't face starting something with such a blatantly attentive audience.  
"I can't stay, Kim, I just came up for a sandwich. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
Legaspi was on her own once more, but now all eyes were on her, rather than just most of them. She couldn't give a damn, her thoughts on much more important things. Like Kerry's obvious discomfort, and how she could get past it. 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
The next day, Weaver didn't even step out of the ER. She bustled around, interfering in everyone's cases, and generally being a pain in the ass. The word among the nurses was she hadn't been this bad since she started dating Sandy. Gossip ran rife around the department; had they broken up, what would happen with Legaspi, was she single - the possibilities were endless. Her staff may have had a good day, but Kerry certainly didn't. She left the second her shift was over, for once glad to get away.  
  
Kim's day wasn't much better. She arrived at County after lunch, since Kate had volunteered to do the morning visit. The silent, lonely hours with Christy did nothing for her mood. Shut up in that airless little room, Kim started to feel more prisoner than visitor. There was no escape from her own thoughts - the endless, tormenting questions;  
  
'Why?...  
  
When?...  
  
What should I?...  
  
How could she?...'  
  
In the end, she just had to get out.  
  
Walking out to her car, she raked her hands through her hair, longing for a distraction - anything to take her mind off all this. Quite unexpectedly, her wish was granted. As she unlocked her car, Kim noticed a bit of paper fluttering on the windshield. Expecting a flyer or some other junk, she tore it free. But no, it was hand-written. Kim smoothed it out on the bonnet, now very curious;  
  
Still need cheering up?  
  
Call me  
  
773 842 1155  
  
Rose  
  
'What!?' thought Kim, 'is she stalking me now?'  
  
She stuffed it into her pocket and drove back to Kate's.  
  
Kim entered the dark, unfamiliar appartment. It was stifling hot, as her friend had turned the air con. off before going out. She chucked her bag on the couch and slouched into the kitchen, managing to unearth some elderly pizza in the fridge. With a grateful sigh, she dropped into one of Kate's luxurious leather chairs.  
  
"Come on Kim, snap out if it," she chided, "it's not like you're gonna starve anyway."  
  
Looking at her meal, perhaps starvation would have been preferable. She lay back lazily, picking at the pizza, trying to relax. But peace wouldn't come. Kim felt painfully alone. Perhaps not surprisingly, the beautiful blonde had rarely felt so friendless. Christy was seemingly unreachable, Kate was never home, always living it up with her new girlfriend, and she'd lost touch with her other Chicago contacts. And as for a certain emergency physician...  
  
"What about her?" the psychiatrist asked herself, "why'd you even bring her into this?"  
  
Of course Kim knew full well why. But she was determined to get a grip -  
  
"This is pathetic, Legaspi. A beautiful woman gave you her number. What the hell are you waiting for?"  
  
Before she lost her nerve, she dug out the crumpled note, picked up the phone, and dialled. Her eyes were on the paper, not the keys she was hitting.  
  
This could explain why it took Kim a few seconds to register the number she'd actually dialled. Her fingers, it seemed, had a mind of their own, and had called the one person she had no desire to talk to.  
  
Even so, she held on as it rang and rang, letting out the breath she didn't realise she'd been holding as it became obvious no-one was in. Wait, that wasn't so good -  
  
"Someone else has a date tonight," she muttered bitterly.  
  
Just as Kim moved to hang up, the ansaphone clicked on;  
  
"This is Doctor Kerry Weaver. In an emergency, I can be reached at County General hospital or on my pager, otherwise please leave a message."  
  
She hadn't changed the message! Just hearing it again brought back so many memories. Kim thought back to more than a year ago, when she'd sat for hours at the phone, hearing those few words so many times they lost all meaning.  
  
  
  
Summer 2001  
  
Kim sat alone in her front room. She'd sat there all night, unwilling to move, to move on with her life. Sacked by Romano, abandoned by Kerry, everything boiled down to one decision - to stay, or to go. To go back, to go on. There was no easy option. Standing as she did at this crossroads in her life, Kim saw both paths leading through much grief and suffering. But where would they end up?  
  
Throughout that long night, she'd thought of little but Kerry. The good times, and the bad. And there were a lot of good times. Lazy weekends spent in that very room, just talking, or reading the papers; long nights in bed or in front of the fire...learning, teaching, giving, receiving...Yes, the nights had always been good, incredibly so - it was the days that were the problem. Like the day after Kerry had first stayed over, she practically ran out the house. And when Elizabeth walked past in the ER, Kerry had to act like there was nothing going on. Like they meant nothing. Little things, but how they had hurt. Then of course it all fell apart. She just kept running. From the cops asking questions, from Romano and his lies, and finally from Kim, from happiness.  
  
Blinking in the morning light, Kim swiped away her tears. Maybe she couldn't go back, but there was one last thing she had to do. With a shaking hand, she picked up the phone and dialled the well known number.  
  
"This is Doctor Kerry Weaver..."  
  
Just hearing Kerry's voice was enough to start her crying yet again. Kim got a hold on herself, determined to sound calm for the message;  
  
"Kerry, it's me. If you're there, pick up the phone. We - I need to finish this."  
  
Kim waited, but got no response. 'Guess she's gone out,' she thought. But Kim knew that Weaver wasn't working that day, she was off the rest of the week. So she'd called and called, leaving ever more agitated messages;  
  
"Please pick up, Kerry."  
  
"I'm still here."  
  
"I know you can hear this. You're not helping anyone"  
  
"Talk to me, god damn it!"  
  
After three days, Kim couldn't take it any more. She tried one last time.  
  
"OK, Kerry, I give up. I won't call you again. I'm leaving now...Bye."  
  
  
  
Snapping back to the present, Kim realised she was still holding the phone.  
  
"Shit!"  
  
She slammed it down.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
Some minutes later, on the other side of town, Sandy and her partner stumbled up the steps to Kerry's. They'd had a good night, and for both, walking required a little more effort than usual. However, once they were in, the redhead did manage to spot the blinking light on her machine.  
  
"Hold on," she slurred, as Sandy swept her towards the stairs, "I've got a message."  
  
"Who cares," urged the other, "they'll call back."  
  
But Kerry twisted out of her reach,  
  
"Could be important," she pressed the button.  
  
"[You have - one - new message. Message received - today - at - 10 - 47 - PM]"  
  
The stilted computer voice was as annoying as ever.  
  
"Who -?" began Sandy, as Kerry shushed her. The machine was still going;  
  
"[beep!] ... ... ... ..."  
  
A long silence followed, broken only by faint sounds of breathing on the other end. Kerry bent closer, a vague suspicion forming as she listened. Her guess was confirmed as the message ended,  
  
"... ... ... 'Shit!' [end of messages]"  
  
Even from one brief syllable, she would always recognise that voice - Kim!  
  
Kerry was swept back a year, to the last time she'd heard it in this room.  
  
  
  
Summer 2001  
  
Weaver lay curled up on the couch as the house darkened around her. She'd retreated there after leaving the hospital in the middle of her shift, and there she'd stayed, lost in a frightening new world, stirring only for trips to the kitchen or bathroom. Even people's concerned phonecalls had made little impression. Carter had called, then Luka, even Randi had given it a try.  
  
No, Kerry had so much on her mind, sometimes she wouldn't even hear the phone. Firstly, she'd lost Kim, she'd failed her. Weaver struggled to believe it, let alone start to forgive herself. Those awful weeks after the Shannon Wallace fiasco, Kerry's few shreds of self esteem only remained because she told herself - she knew - that she'd make it up to her. That she would never let anything come before Kim again.  
  
"Yeah right, Kerry. That worked out."  
  
Kim was right, it was pointless if they didn't fight together.  
  
"We can find a civil-rights attorney," she'd told Kim.  
  
"And what were you gonna do?" Kerry asked herself, "Pay the bill, maybe?"  
  
And when she'd finally stood up for them both -  
  
"Well you didn't, actually," she thought, "you were too fucking late."  
  
But what she said to Romano, that was really why she was hiding.  
  
"I am a lesbian"  
  
Four small words, spoken in haste, but they could never be unsaid. And Kerry cringed to think how much trouble they could cause. She calculated how long before the whole staff knew. Hours? Minutes? That knowledge was what Dr Weaver most feared. More grist for the gossip mills. Another stigma, another weapon against her, something else that made her...different. All her life she'd been different. Kerry Weaver - a short, crippled, red-haired lesbian.  
  
She fell back on the cushions, hiding her eyes. This was just too much to face. Then the phone rang again. She let the machine get it. Half- listening, Kerry jerked upright at the voice she heard - Kim!  
  
But she just couldn't move. Regardless of what Kim had to say, she knew she couldn't take it right then. Talking to her, explaining herself, would mean making some sense out of the utter mess her head was in.  
  
So time passed. Kim didn't give up, she pleaded, she raged, she tried everything to make Kerry talk. A few times, Weaver found herself getting up, walking closer, but every time she reached out, something stopped her. The look of disgust on Robert's face, Malucci's crude talk about 'Dr Legs' - whatever it was, Kerry couldn't do it.  
  
Then that last message.  
  
"I give up...I'm leaving now"  
  
The defeat, the contempt in Kim's voice as she said goodbye, was enough to propel Kerry across the room. She lunged for the phone - but too late.  
  
Weaver slid down to the floor and gave in to her despair. Tears came, and she thought they'd never stop. One thing was on her mind, everything else faded into insignificance. She'd lost her chance. Kim was gone, and she hadn't even said goodbye.  
  
  
  
"Kerry! Paging Doctor Weaver!"  
  
Sandy's impatience brought her back to herself.  
  
"What? - Oh, sorry."  
  
She backed away from the machine like it might bite her.  
  
"Who was it?"  
  
"Huh?" she shook her head, struggling to re-focus. "Wrong number I suppose." 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
At last, a day which brought some good news. Kim was stopped in her reluctant process through the ICU by one of the now familiar nurses.  
  
"Dr Legaspi!" the young girl exclaimed breathlessly, "She's awake!"  
  
"Oh, thank God." Kim cracked her first smile in what felt like forever.  
  
She hurried through to her friend's room.  
  
"Hey! How you feeling?"  
  
Christy looked drained and weak, but otherwise almost her old self.  
  
"Not so bad. You?"  
  
"I'm good. Glad I could be here."  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
Downstairs, as always, her staff had the news before Kerry did. Abby approached, feeling a little of the old nervousness. She thought back to last summer, when the Chief had resembled a bomb waiting to go off.  
  
"Uh, Kerry?" She was suddenly the focus of attention. "Have you heard -"  
  
" - What now? Does nobody tell me anything round here?"  
  
Abby thought she'd best get on with it.  
  
"Dr Legaspi's friend - she's awake."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Kerry stood still, staring at some point just over Abby's shoulder.  
  
"I have to go up there. Could you - ?"  
  
"Go, I'll cover for you."  
  
Weaver stood in front of the elevators, getting in when one eventually arrived. As it went up, she mused on the number of bad memories one little room could evoke - like watching the doors shut on Kim and their relationship. Clutching her crutch grimly, she forced her thoughts back to the present. It was Christy she was going to see. The woman had been her patient, after all.  
  
But it wasn't her patient's voice she heard as she walked up to the door. Kim stopped abruptly when her former lover stepped in. Christy looked round, surprised, and smiled to see her new visitor.  
  
"Kerry! I was wondering if we'd be seeing you."  
  
Weaver turned gladly to face her, barely acknowledging Kim where she stood at the foot of the bed.  
  
"Just wanted to make sure you're OK."  
  
"I'm feeling pretty good, considering."  
  
Christy felt she'd better continue, since no-one else seemed very communicative.  
  
"Kim tells me I have you to thank for that."  
  
Kerry glanced briefly in the other's direction before disclaiming hastily,  
  
"Oh no, Robert did all the real work."  
  
Another awkward silence. Neither Doctor seemed willing to break it. Christy looked from one to the other. She caught Kim watching the redhead surreptitiously, but Kerry would hardly look at her. There was something very odd going on here. From what her friend had told her of the break up, she'd expected...well definitely not this. It was like they'd never even been friends.  
  
Kerry stirred herself, finally thinking of something relevant to say.  
  
"I guess they'll be letting you out soon. Will you manage all right at home?"  
  
"Yeah, I think so. Kim's gonna stay a few weeks."  
  
"She is?" That did make Kerry turn around.  
  
"You can leave your job for that long?"  
  
Kim cringed inwardly, thinking 'She really wants me out of here.'  
  
"It'll be fine," she answered, coolly.  
  
On that note, Weaver mumbled an excuse and made her escape.  
  
She sighed tiredly as she made her way downstairs. Kerry'd been assuming that Kim would leave as soon as her friend recovered. And now who knows how long she'd be around.  
  
'You won't see her,' she told herself, 'Forget about it.'  
  
But she knew that would never happen. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
By the weekend, Christy was ready to go home. She had a lovely house in one of the suburbs, the only disadvantage being, it was about as far from the hospital as you could get. After quite possibly the longest cross town journey ever, the two friends finally made it through the front door.  
  
Though her head was now fine, the poor woman had a broken collar bone and still mending crush damage in one foot. And having her arm in a cast made walking with a crutch rather a challenge.  
  
But she was nothing if not determined. By Sunday, she could just about manage to get around the house, although venturing outside was more of a problem.  
  
Most of the time, Christy held court in the lounge, propped up on the couch. There was little the pair could do but talk. And there was one topic that could no longer be avoided. Even so, she tried to bring it up gently;  
  
"So, did you miss sunny Chicago?" she began facetiously, "God, I envied you last winter."  
  
"I never really minded the snow." Replied Kim absently  
  
'That went well,' she thought, searching for another opening.  
  
"And your job's going OK?"  
  
"Yeah, the hospital's great. No Robert Romano, no -"  
  
She stopped abruptly, not liking where this was going.  
  
"No Kerry?"  
  
Kim sighed wearily, closing her eyes.  
  
"No Kerry."  
  
"What is it, Kim? I thought you told me it was it over with her."  
  
"I did. But that was before..."  
  
"What? I know something's happened."  
  
The psychiatrist picked up her glass of wine and stared into it meditatively.  
  
"At the hospital, Dr Anspaugh came to see me. I wish he'd damn well stayed away!"  
  
Her brief flare of anger soon died down.  
  
"He told me...that she threatened Romano, that she told him she'd quit if he fired me."  
  
Christy stared at her in disbelief. She opened her mouth to respond, but Kim hadn't come to what really hurt;  
  
"She never even called! Just one god-damn phone call, a letter, even!"  
  
"Would you really have come back?"  
  
"Maybe." She gestured angrily, "Shit, I don't know."  
  
They were silent for a few minutes, while Christy longed to get up and go to her. But there was one more thing she had to ask,  
  
"Have you said anything to her?"  
  
"How can I!?"  
  
Her voice dropped to a despondent murmur.  
  
"She's found someone else."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"I saw them together."  
  
The other woman could find no words of comfort. She watched anxiously as Kim sipped at her drink, staring blankly across the room.  
  
Christy had helped her friend through innumerable failed relationships. From the outset she'd been wary of the unpredictable Dr. Weaver. Listening to Kim raving on in their first few weeks together, she'd pictured Kerry as funny, intelligent, passionate...a far cry from the mousey, sensitive woman she'd met at that disastrous dinner, and different again from the cool, professional doctor of last week. Who was the real Kerry Weaver? And how did she really feel about Kim's return?  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
If Kerry had known that, things would have been a whole lot easier. Currently she was trying not to think about it. Instead, she threw herself into her work, taking endless night shifts and doubles, and generally ensuring the only thing she did at home was sleep. Sandy couldn't help noticing her girlfriend's odd behaviour, but she could only hope it would pass.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
As the week went on, Christy became increasingly concerned about her friend. Since that one time, Dr Weaver's name had never been spoken between them. The subject was closed. Legaspi spent her time brooding silently in the house, or walking restlessly around the city. Christy was no shrink, but she knew this couldn't be healthy.  
  
One afternoon, when Kim was out yet again, Christy was doing the laundry - one thing she could do sitting down. She picked up a pair of Kim's jeans, and on checking the pockets, pulled out a crumpled scrap of paper. In case it was important, she had a quick look, and was extremely surprised to see a note, a phone number no less, from some woman called Rose. Who the hell was Rose? Had Kim called her? Christy got the feeling her friend was hiding something.  
  
In truth there was little to hide. Kim had never called the number, but had met her admirer unexpectedly in Magoos one time. Disheartened by a long day at Christy's bedside, Kim had slipped into the familiar diner for a coffee before she went home. And Rose had walked in as she picked up her drink from the counter.  
  
  
  
"Kim, isn't it?"  
  
She turned, irritated, not in the mood for conversation.  
  
But a slightly guilty feeling prodded her to try and be civil.  
  
"Oh, hi - Rose, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I was wondering if I'd see you in here."  
  
"Please, join me."  
  
They sat down in one of the booths, both somewhat embarrassed. Kim felt she had to straighten a few things out.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't call. It's just - I've got a lot on my plate at the moment, and I'm not really looking for any more...complications."  
  
"Sure, I understand. I'm not asking anything from you. But if you want to talk..."  
  
She smiled reassuringly.  
  
"Thanks, Rose. Let's just have coffee."  
  
A far more comfortable pause followed.  
  
"How's your friend?" the young physio asked.  
  
"Still the same."  
  
"I'm sorry. It must be awful."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
  
  
The two new friends continued to talk quietly until Rose had to go back to work. While Kim was visiting every day, they met for lunch a few times, the psychiatrist very glad of the company. But on Christy's discharge, Rose had thought it best to step back a little. She'd left it entirely up to Kim whether to continue their acquaintance.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
By the time Kim returned later that afternoon, her friend was unbearably curious about this mystery woman . Legaspi flopped down into her favourite chair, enquiring half-heartedly about the other's health.  
  
"I'm fine," Christy replied, "You?"  
  
"I'm okay."  
  
This was so blatantly untrue, Christy felt quite angry at her.  
  
"Right." She muttered sarcastically.  
  
All thoughts of a subtle approach were gone. She just wanted a response from Kim, even a fight would be better than this.  
  
"So who's Rose?"  
  
"Rose?"  
  
At least the other was actually looking at her.  
  
"I found this."  
  
She flourished the note dramatically. Kim glanced at it, then carelessly replied,  
  
"Oh, her."  
  
"Her? Is that all you're going to say?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"God, Kim, I find some woman's number in your pocket, you don't think I start to wonder?"  
  
"It's nothing. I met her in a bar."  
  
"And?"  
  
"And what? We talked. She left that on my car the other week."  
  
"Huh? Is she stalking you or something?"  
  
"Course not. She works at the hospital, she must've seen me in the car park."  
  
"I see."  
  
She didn't really.  
  
"So...did you meet her again?"  
  
"Yes, actually. We had lunch a couple of times."  
  
She caught Christy's knowing look.  
  
"That's it." she said sharply, "We're just friends."  
  
"Okay, okay. So come on, what's she like?"  
  
"Brunette, quite short - she's a physical therapist."  
  
"Is she now..."  
  
If Kim had been paying attention, she would have seen the wheels turning in Christy's mind right then. Someone Kim knew, someone on the spot at County...this Rose could be just what the Doctor ordered. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
The next day, once Kim was safely out of the house, Christy picked up the phone and dialled the switchboard at County.  
  
She smooth-talked her way past a series of harried receptionists, using the old 'it's personal' trick to get through to the right department. Hampered only slightly by ignorance of her supposed 'friend' 's last name, she was soon waiting apprehensively for a reply.  
  
"Hello, Rose Carrol speaking."  
  
"Hello Dr Carrol, this is Christy Thomas."  
  
Christy hadn't really planned this far. She struggled on nonetheless;  
  
"I'm sorry if this sounds a little weird, but a friend gave me your name, and I was hoping you could help me."  
  
"OK..." Rose frowned, perplexed, "How can I help, Ms Thomas?"  
  
Sitting there at home, Christy babbled on, hoping she sounded convincing,  
  
"Well, I was in an accident last month, and I need help getting back on my feet. It's really quite urgent - I'm a lawyer, you see, and I'm losing all my clients here. I mean I could pull off speaking in court with a sling, but crutches as well - no-one would take me seriously!"  
  
Rose laughed indulgently.  
  
"I see your point. Well, I'm free Monday afternoon - how about you come in and we can talk."  
  
Christy tried in vain to sound nonchalant, coming off more as slightly manic.  
  
"Great, what time?"  
  
"Three thirty all right with you?"  
  
"Sure, see you then. And thanks."  
  
"No problem."  
  
Dr Carrol put the phone down, wondering what she'd got herself into.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
That weekend, Kerry woke early to the thoughts that had filled her days and disturbed her nights ever since a certain blonde had reappeared in her life. First and foremost, the guilt that had resurfaced on Legaspi's return. With her ex miles away out west, it had been easier to forget - forget the betrayal, the contempt she knew Kim must have felt. But now, knowing she was back in town, the thought of meeting her at the hospital, on the El... Kerry told herself that wouldn't happen.  
  
She looked across at the woman sleeping peacefully next to her. Pretty, thoughtful, fun to be around - Sandy was everything a woman could ask for. Kerry'd really thought this was the real thing...Was it?  
  
After breakfast, Sandy suggested a day out. Maybe a walk in the park, lunch someplace nice. Kerry, however, said she'd rather stay in. They'd been doing rather a lot of that lately. Not that Sandy minded the extra attention, but that was just it. Kerry was more distant, if anything - distracted, preoccupied even. At first her partner had put it down to work pressures, tiredness, the heat perhaps. But lately she'd been worrying it was something more than that.  
  
Anyway, neither of them felt up to much right then. Sandy settled down in front of the morning news, while Kerry sat ensconced in the study, burying herself in receipts and paperwork.  
  
Dr. Weaver was the kind of person who filed everything away carefully. Unfortunately, that morning her system had failed her. She searched everywhere for one bill she was sure had been paid. Thinking it might have slipped under something, Kerry opened a drawer and riffled through a stack of folders. Her fingers touched something right at the bottom. Something hard, with sharp corners. Ever so slowly, Kerry pulled it out, put it on the desk in front of her. It was a picture taken the year before - of her and Kim.  
  
Her eyes misted over as she thought back to those times. She recalled vividly the night it had been taken, they'd splashed out on dinner at a fancy restaurant. Kerry had been nervous about a date in such a public setting. But Kim had been the perfect gentlewoman throughout - patient and understanding. They'd enjoyed themselves so much that they'd planned to return for Thanksgiving. Of course by then it was long over.  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
Back in the lounge, Sandy stood up and stretched, figuring it was time to fix lunch. Her feet bare, she padded softly towards the study, stopping short at what she saw there. Her girlfriend sat completely absorbed, staring at what looked like a framed photograph. And from what little she could see over Kerry's shoulder, one Sandy never knew existed. Biting her lip anxiously, the fire-fighter turned and walked away, unable to intrude. Who was in the god-damn photo?  
  
That question wouldn't go away. Why had Kerry hidden it away, why had she got it out that morning? However she looked at it, Sandy could only come up with one answer. She really wished there was another. In the end, she couldn't take not knowing. When Kerry was tied up on the phone, Sandy went into the study and hurriedly looked around. The only place it could be was in the desk. And sure enough, there it was, stuffed away in a drawer.  
  
Sandy set the picture face down, and thought she'd best take a seat. She pushed the chair back, as if afraid of what she'd see. Her heart pounding, she turned it over.  
  
There was Kerry, and with her...Sandy knew that could only be Kim Legaspi.  
  
Blonde, blue eyes - she was everything Kerry had described her to be. But so young, and - Sandy struggled to say it, even to herself - so beautiful. And Kerry, she looked so...happy. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8  
  
Christy fell into a cab Monday afternoon and made her way to County. Although it was by far the easiest approach, she thought it best not to enter through the ER. Instead, she had the driver help her up to the main doors.  
  
With many pauses to catch her breath, she made her way to Rose's office. Stopping outside the door to compose herself, Christy thought,  
  
'God, Kim, this had better be worth it.'  
  
She knocked and went in.  
  
Dr. Carrol waited considerately for the other to settle herself in a chair. That done, the two women sat in silence for a moment, Christy sizing up her prospective ally, and Rose, as always, assessing her new patient.  
  
The doctor saw a successful professional of about her own age. She didn't look in immediate pain, although there was something in the blonde's eyes that Rose could not quite identify.  
  
Looking across the desk, Christy felt her spirits lift. Her whole plan hinged on this woman's appearance - and in that, she was not disappointed. The old Kim would never have refused her.  
  
Clearing her throat, Dr. Carrol picked up a pen and began.  
  
"Good afternoon Miss Thomas, how can I help you?"  
  
"Afternoon Doctor. And please call me Christy. "  
  
The other smiled,  
  
"OK, then I'm Rose. - Now you said you were in an accident?"  
  
"Yes, on the freeway. And as you can see I'm still having trouble walking.  
  
"Uh -huh..." Rose was a little puzzled. "Did your Doctor not tell you what to expect?"  
  
Christy opened her mouth to answer, but felt uncomfortable taking this charade any further. She frowned and looked down at her hands.  
  
"Look, to be honest, this wasn't the real reason I called."  
  
Rose raised an eyebrow, coolly holding the other's gaze.  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"No." She took a deep breath and continued.  
  
"You know I said a friend recommended you -"  
  
"I was wondering who that was."  
  
"It was Kim, Kim Legaspi."  
  
"Ah."  
  
Still the doctor had no idea where this was going. She looked to Christy for explanation.  
  
"We've been friends for years - she told me you've met."  
  
"I don't see how this affects your injury."  
  
She looked at her watch, growing impatient.  
  
"Please, let me finish. You have seen her, right?"  
  
"Yes, we've met here several times. I was just being friendly!"  
  
She wondered if Christy's interest in Kim was more than that.  
  
"I know, Rose, I'm not accusing you of anything."  
  
A pause.  
  
"Did she seem a bit down to you?"  
  
"Well yes - her friend was in a coma!"  
  
"I was, true." Rose shot her a surprised look. "But there's more to it than that. I'm very worried about her."  
  
Unable to read the bemused woman's reaction, Christy was characteristically direct.  
  
"Do you want me to leave? Or shall I go on."  
  
"I'm sorry." She held out a hand in submission. "Please - "  
  
"As I said, I really am worried. Kim never wanted to come back to Chicago. And now she's here - she's not coping well. She won't talk to me, she hardly eats, she's out all day god knows where..."  
  
Concerned but confused, Rose asked,  
  
"Why are you telling me this?"  
  
"I know her. She won't listen to me, or Kate - or anyone. She'll just sit back and let her life fall apart. But I'm not gonna let that happen!" she finished fiercely.  
  
"I see. And you want me to...?"  
  
"Help me give her - " she tried to put it tactfully, " - a push in the right direction. I wouldn't ask but with this," she indicated her crutch leaning against the desk, "I'm pretty much useless."  
  
Christy smiled winningly.  
  
"OK - I'll do it."  
  
"Great! You won't regret this."  
  
"I'd better not." Rose sat back, now all ears. "So why did she leave town?"  
  
"Well, there was this Doctor..."  
  
- -- - -- - -- - -- -  
  
Filling her in on the Kerry situation took up the rest of the appointment. Their time over, the two women exchanged business cards.  
  
"You really are a lawyer," smiled Rose.  
  
"Yeah." She grinned sheepishly, "That part was true."  
  
"And your foot?"  
  
"It'll be fine. I'm sorry, but I had to see you."  
  
"Forget it - as long as you're straight with me from now on." 


End file.
